by association
10:36AM
1/11/26
i want to write about something thats been bothering my mind for a while now and its that people are weird when it comes to associating with people. not that people are weird, weird, its more that its unusual for people to do this to other people, and that dosent exclude me since i also am guilty in thinking in these things in regard. again, im not perfect, im flawed, people are all flawed, but i wanted to point this specific flaw because its been bothering me for a very noticable amount. this little thing will be structured in two parts, since i feel like these two instances really struck me as something that needs to be written when it comes to putting yourself out there, and putting yourself in a group of people. im open to discussion, but this is how i feel
i. loss of their core
the most heartbreaking feeling i can ever feel towards a person is seeing something you love about them get slowly taken away. the reason, you actually wanted to talk to that person, the reason you admired them for what they did, whether it be a style, the way they spoke, they way they posted, the way they acted for that matter. that core reason that you thought made that person the way they are, slowly fading away to obscurity to make way for something new, something changing. and i get it, people change, people change a lot fully. i change what i like, i change my style as well. but theres a lingering feeling thats different than just "change". its something where you really do feel like something is totally off towards them, like they're performing for something, or someone. they sacrifice their core for validation, in this case, association. i'm not naming names, but if the shoe fits, so be it; but theres a certain person in my mind that i found to be especially infuriating, and kind of makes my head spin a certain way just thinking about how much was lost than before. you see what they post now, and they associate with the wrong people, people where you swore they hated, for what reason?, you'll never truly know their motives. we're all people after all, but as a fellow person, i still get confused by how much people willingly associate with people they said they hated a few months ago. you can only do that when you have something to gain, so what is there to gain? in this age, in this era of surveillance and performance, you cannot be truly friends with someone you hate now unless there's really a motive there, i really do believe that. you can't just randomly be besties with people you said you dislike. now you're willingly losing your specialty to the people you dislike? you're losing yourself! that isnt right, stand on yourself. stand on your own. if those arent the people, then they aren't! simple. people really lose their compass, the things they stood for, these punk rock, alternative ideals and tone it down, or eventually lose them because they want to associate with people who are the exact opposite of the spectrum you like. why bother? it really leaves me thinking.
to clarify even further, its perfectly okay to talk to people you dislike, who disagree with certain views, its one key to have an open mind, and at points, being neutral is at its best. but there comes to a point where your "neutrality" slowly turns into wanting the validation of the opposite. your "neutrality" turns into compliance. your "neutrality" turns into enabling the views that you dislike on people. its one thing to talk with a classmate who has a differing view than you, but its another to be friends with that classmate and all of a sudden you're invited to their milestone occasions, never ever passing up a lunch invitation, always posted up with them and sharing pictures with them. is there something else you want to share?
ii. loss of their compass
you lose yourself with the wrong people, and sometimes the wrong people, the wrong person itself is clearly dangerous to your psyche. sometimes its clear that the person is a complete monster but people still go all their way to be friends with them, which leaves me thinking a lot. again, if the shoe fits, so be it; but people really drop other people just to be with someone thats evidently the worst person in the world, which irks me to no end. you not only damage the people you seperate with, but you're eventually damaging yourself with the person you're giving a chance to be friends with. even worse, that person ends up damaging your friend already and you still continue to be friends with them with that in mind. where are your friends?, the right people?, are they right?, are you aware they are the right people?, people are in the right age to know what is wrong or right. and we aren't perfect, but there comes a line where you can't just associate yourself with literal monsters. again, there must be something you gain on it or else you're spending time with a person thats going to end up wasting that time. time is precious, time is money, even. and if you're knowingly using that time to spend it with a person you knowingly dislike, or you know is in the wrong, why bother? is there something you want to share? you're losing yourself, you're losing the people who care, by association. through association. and by association, take care.